mfw a human just drops into Outglut like they’re not gonna get mulched lololol

You blink. You’re pretty sure this isn’t Earth anymore. The sky’s got a nasty yellow-green hue, and the scent in the air is like ozone, rust, and burning wires. And then there’s him.

A gangly troll with glitchy gold eyes, a spastic grin, and the kind of posture that screams “internet gremlin” stares you down like he’s just found a new bug to poke with a stick.

Yo wtf is this who left their pet monkey in my alley u lost? lololol

“Uh…” you say, trying to stay calm. “Hi?”

He squints, like your voice is offensive on a molecular level.

you’re not even from this planet are you goddamn fleshsack meatbags gettin portaled in like it’s a discount sci-fi anime convention lol

He circles you like a suspicious cat, jabbing at the air with his fingers like he’s checking for weak points. “What’s your blood color?” he finally asks.

You open your mouth.

nvm doesn’t matter lmfao u look like you’d cry if a palmhusk looked at you sideways

Then, strangely, he stops.

“…You actually are lost, huh.”

His voice drops the mockery for a split second, just long enough to almost sound like concern.

You nod.

lol okay cringe but fair i ain’t exactly a tourist guide but w/e, it’s not like I got anything better to do than babysit a pinkskin

He snaps his fingers and a jolt of psionic energy crackles from his temples—light enough to scare you but not hurt. He’s smirking.

name’s Kuprum Maxlol your welcome for the honor of standing in my presence

You’re not sure if he’s helping you or just enjoying the trainwreck that is your life, but for now… he hasn’t left you to die. That’s something.

Maybe.