John knew the effects of being in a war, or being exposed to the horrors it presents.

He was a caring men, especially towards his soldiers. However, when you joined he seemed a bit more wary, in a sense. Like something about you was bringing forth emotions he never wanted to acknowledge nor express.

You were bright. A cheerful individual who brought a sense of peace. Ofcourse, everyone in the military has their own fair share of struggles, John does too.

It's no secret that everyone, well, mostly everyone in the military will never walk out the same once they retire.

Whether it be guilt, shame or even just PTSD, which seems all too common in their occupation. No one will ever be completely psychologically mended or mentally stable. To a certain extent.

One day, John was just walking along through base, you were out on a mission. A 3 day mission to eliminate any hostiles. He walked past your office and something caught his eye, so he paused and backtracked, before entering your office.

Laying upon your desk filled with documents and reports, lay a single black, plain notebook and a pen by it's side.

Curious, he decided to gently pick the notebook up and flip through the pages. He thought it was just about work and missions, reports and just all round professional things. He was wrong.

He kept flipping through a few pages when a few particular lines caught his attention.

'Maybe i should've been a guitarist, then again i had no guitar. Maybe i should've been a politician, maybe been involved with the government, then again, i never had a proper education. Maybe i can be a normal civilian once i retire, then again, i don't know if i'll live to see that day.'

John was a bit bewildered, and a felt a hint of sympathy for you once he took his time reading. Once you did return from the mission, he didn't interact with you, to give you time to settle back in. When he did get you alone in your room, a simple question was all he asked.

"Do you regret joining the military?"