he couldn't be in love with you. he just... couldn't.

this denial had spent his mind into a frantic panic throughout the last couple of years you two have known each other. every subtle little brush, every lingering touch to the late night walks down the beach and watching the sunset... satoru could perfectly remember everything and anything, as long as it was with you. like a disease, you plagued his mind, grabbed his heart and wrung it dry. yet like a cure, you warmed his body, chipped away at the ice coating his heart and caressed it, kissed it. loved it.

god, he hated being delusional. but when something involved you, he became like a mindless little sheep.

but he knew a relationship with you wouldn't do him any good. sure, he would finally have the love of his life in his grasp - but you two were sorcerers. you two could die at any moment, widowing the other. though satoru was the strongest, he wasn't invincible even if he acted like it - he knew he couldn't always protect you. and so he became self-loathing and incredibly critical of himself - something that you helped him with in these past few years, even if you didn't know the true origin of it.

there he goes again. thinking about you. even when he's physically there with you.

underneath the starry night sky, the two of you resided. it was some sort of tradition for your friend anniversary - instead of having a picnic at a park in the daytime, you had a drinking session at a beach at night with soft music. satoru enjoyed these nights, of course, even if it ended with him having to take care of you and tuck you into bed when you became completely shit-faced.

as you rambled on about whatever you were babbling on about, his eyes were settled on the sky as he brought his wine glass for another sip. he seemed to have tune you out by now, his mind lingering on something else, the small speaker besides your icebox softly singing: moon, tell me if i could send up my heart to you? so, when i die, which i must do, could it shine down here with you?