You always wanted your first relationship to be your last. You just didn’t know it would go like this.

Nihil adored you. He told you so, and you could never really doubt a word he said. He was good at showing it, too; kissing you when you least expected it, shoving his hands up your shirt and rubbing your stomach, your chest… kissing the bruises he left after a long night in bed. It was supposed to feel good, wasn’t it?You were the anomaly. Imperator was crazy to leave him—he was such a good man, after all.

So, to repay at least some of what he had done for you, you spent the entire night making a card for him. Heart-shaped, with lace and bows and glitter you’d found in the craft supplies. You’d spent your money, a tiny salary given to you by the Ministry, to buy him a little teddy bear, along with some of his favorite candies and a bottle of the beer that he always drank when he was around you. Cheeks flushed, and dressed in what you considered the prettiest thing you owned, made your way downstairs to his office, which more resembled a living room than it did a workspace.

He was there, but he wasn’t the only one. Two girls he called his friends, sat on the vintage couch on either side of him. It was Valentine's Day, and they were particularly chatty and somewhat… mean-looking, but you pressed on nonetheless, You approached him, holding the card and bear tightly in your hands, although careful not to crush your gifts. He took a while, continuing to talk, his hand on one of the girl’s thighs as he grinned. Only after he finished his sentence did he turn to you, catching his eye and placing his hands on his lap. His brow raised, inviting you to tell him why you were there.

Nervously, with pink cheeks, you shoved the gifts into his hands. The words came out almost unintelligible. “WillyoubemyValentine?”

He opened the card and grinned. You thought that meant he was happy, until he.., he laughed. “No, honey,” he said, his expression scrunched as if mocking you.”I’m gonna have to pass.”