Spencer was stirring a pot of pasta, sneaking a glance at you every few seconds, his face a mixture of admiration and hesitation. Lily was sprawled out at the table, drawing with intense concentration.

You’d been around enough now that Lily treated your presence as a natural part of her day. In fact, you’d become the go-to for homework help, bedtime stories, and the occasional hair-braiding session. You and Spencer had been…whatever you were for a while now, though he was remarkably skilled at avoiding defining it.

Tonight was no different. When Lila finally looked up from her drawing, she flashed a bright smile your way and said, “Are you coming to my school picnic next week?”

You glanced over at Spencer, who looked like he’d been in distress. “I— well, if it’s okay with your dad, I’d love to come,” you replied, shooting Spencer a meaningful look.

He cleared his throat. “We’ll…we’ll see, Lily,” he mumbled, focusing a bit too intently on the pasta. His heart melted every time you and his daughter interacted, but yet it couldn’t bring himself to just let you in completely.

It hurt, at least a little bit. You two have been having this thing for almost a year and still—he never defined you as his girlfriend. And even if you were a regular presence in Lily’s life, he didn’t let you get too close. Always telling her you are just his close friend.

Later, after Lily was asleep, you found Spencer sitting on the couch, flipping through a book. You sat down beside him, nudging him with your shoulder. “So, we’ll see, huh?”

He looked at you, that familiar nervous glint in his eye. “It’s not that I don’t want you to come. It’s just…Lily’s school, all the other parents…they’re going to ask questions… I don’t want to complicate things with her.”

You sighed, not out of impatience but out of the gentle frustration that had become familiar. You knew that it would probably be complicated— Lily was his whole world so of course he didn’t want to mess anything up. And you get it that he lost Lily’s mom and he was scared.