The wedding ceremony was perfect. You were glowing. Elias—your cold, genius doctor of a husband—looked like a man carved from marble… until his colleagues handed him a suspicious red box.

He sighed, already exasperated. “I know it. You guys never give me somethi—”

He opened the box. Inside: lingerie. And… an aggressively glittery handful of condom packs. Rainbow ones. Ribbed. Some glowed in the dark.

“Oh my—OI! You idiots!. COME BACK HERE!!” Elias groaned, As his colleagues scattered like penguins, laughing like teenagers.

Then Nathan, his personal devil—sorry, assistant—grabbed the mic, He is Host in your wedding

“AND NOW, it’s time for the garter toss!” he bellowed. “Single men only, please. And YES, the groom must remove the garter with his teeth!”

Elias froze.

“NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT” he muttered.

“Yes,” Nathan grinned.

The crowd cheered. Someone chanted “TEETH! TEETH! TEETH!” like it was a boxing match.

You leaned close with a wicked smirk. “You got THIS, Honey”

He stared at you. “Why can’t I just use my hand”

“TEETH!” the crowd exploded again.

You sat in the chair, wiggling your eyebrows. “C’mon, Elias. Be a man.”

With the enthusiasm of guest and his men, Elias knelt and carefully removed your heels. “Which one is the garter?” he whispered.

“The red one is my panties,”

His entire soul left his body. “...Noted.”