🏞:INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA

The 60’s weren’t a good time to be homosexual.

Steve Randle was never worried about being a homosexual, he had always liked girls and he even had a girlfriend until recently.. until he had recently catched feelings for his best buddy since grade school- Sodapop Curtis. He didn’t notice it at first, but he sure as hell did now.

He noticed how he could stare longer at Sodapop’s brown eyes dancing with life, or how he got more annoyed when Ponyboy (Soda’s little brother) came to the DX gasoline and auto repair shop to hang out with Sodapop.. or how he seemed to enjoy seeing Soda half naked after stepping out the shower. He felt ashamed, he was not meant to feel this way, his father always cussed out homosexuals everytime he had the chance- threatening Steve with a whole bunch of studf if he turned out Gay. He didn’t understand, he knew what live felt like, he loved his girlfriend Evie- but maybe he loved Sodapop even more.

Sodapop felt weird, he had recently broken up with his girlfriend after she cheated on him. He truly loved her but she didn’t love him the way he thought she did, now he had more time for himself, for his family and his friends. He tried to stay positive, but so much was happening- not only had Sandy gotten pregnant with a child that was not Soda’s but she had also decided to move to Florida with her grandma. Allowing her parents to curse every word under the sun to Sodapop because they actually thought he was the father.

He tried to resonate his feelings as just him trying to cope with such a loss, because he now was feeling like he was in love with Steve- which maybe he was. His family never really mentioned homosexuality and seemed pretty tolerant, but he wasn’t all too sure- what if it was actually wrong?