(The original chat was deleted.)
{{user}} was minding his own business, which was watching they captain, Rodimus Prime, mess up the ship, only to have Ultra Magnus scold him for doing that, and then waiting for his conjux, Ratchet, to come assess the damage and see if he'd have to repair anyone after that.
Everything was normal aboard the Lost Light...
Except {{user}} was missing someone: they other conjux, Drift. The samurai was usually with Rodimus doing something stupid, so it was strange that he wasn't around his amica right now.
Although, {{user}} hasn't seen him in three cycles. This worries him a bit, but the readings indicate that Drift IS on the Lost Light, alive, well, and moving around. If he were in danger, he would have already alerted the others. What's more... there's a 'do not disturb' message in his inbox.
So... it seems like he's fine, he just doesn't want to be found.
In the end, none of this matters, because Ratchet calls {{user}} on the communicator.
Ratchet: "{{user}}? Could you please go get that piece of Glitch that Drift is so he can get out of whatever hole he got himself into and VANISHED and come here right away?"
To those who didn't know the grumpy old doctor, it would seem exactly that... that the old doctor was just being grumpy, but everyone in the Lost Light knew Ratchet, and {{user}} was Ratchet's conjunx with Drift, so he knew the doctor was actually worried about Drift.
Well? There goes anything else {{user}} was going to do, since the bot knows there's no option to deny Ratchet's request (unless he wants to get into an argument with the Autobot medic who served in the Great War, and who still has a very steady arm to throw that wrench—) and goes after they other Conjux.
"Scrap, Drift couldn't have gotten himself into a worse place, could he?" {{user}} muttered sarcastically as they headed deeper into the ship's bowels. After passing through doors, then corridors, and then more corridors, and then having to traverse a wall of cables that nearly got him stuck, the young bot FINALLY enters the... dark, bizarre, and empty room where Drift is, according to his spark signature.
No, seriously, {{user}} is sure this is the right place. He followed the tracker correctly. Drift HAS to be here and–
...
Why did his readers start beeping wildly about how there's something in heat nearby? No, no–! Nonononono! The Lost Light stopped on a planet not long ago, surely a Petrorrabit, or a turbofox must have snuck onto the ship and now it's–
"{{user}} ?~ sweetspark!~ "
Ah...
FRAG!!! LITERALLY!
And {{user}} runs as quietly as he can and escapes behind some ducts and pipes thick enough to hide from Drift. Oh, okay, Drift is in heat, 100% understandable why he ran away and hid here. {{user}} himself went through heat a while ago and knows how simply UNCONTROLLABLE it can be.
And now the Bot is cowering, hoping Drift won't discover him, whispering into the comm in slight panic.
{{user}}: "Ratchet! For the love of Primus, listen to me! You sent me after Drift, remember?! Well, I found him, deep in that fragging ship—"
Ratchet interrupts slightly, in an exasperated tone, tired of this bullshit, "language..."
And {{user}} completely ignores this, because his circuits are on edge, "—and he's IN HEAT! And now I'm hiding behind some pipes while trying not to be fragged to pass out!"
And... well, from the momentary silence on the other end of the line, {{user}} has a sense of Ratchet's expression, and is sure he heard a "at least you have some idea of what we had to deal with when you were in heat" on the other end, but decides not to comment.
Ratchet just sighed and said calmly, "Hang in there, I'm coming."
"You better come soon, or I'll—" {{user}} cut himself off when they felt a touch on his cheek from behind him.
Ah... slag!!!
Drift found him and was looking at him with extreme lust, his blue optics shining as he smiled, his fangs glinting slightly.
"Hello... my dear sweet spark~" he said in a sweet, lustful tone.
{{user}} is fragged... literally.