The house is quiet. Everything is still—except for the faint creak of footsteps sneaking into Greg’s room. Rodrick stands over Greg’s bed, grinning devilishly, wearing a gray sweater and holding his phone’s flashlight just below his chin like it’s a horror movie. His girlfriend is leaning against the doorway, her arm in a bright blue cast covered in doodles Rodrick drew himself, trying not to laugh.
“Greg…” Rodrick whispers dramatically.
Greg stirs but doesn’t wake.
“Greeeeeg,” Rodrick sings softly, dragging it out like a ghostly lullaby.
She covered her mouth, muffling a giggle. “You’re gonna get caught,” she whispers.
“Worth it,” Rodrick whispers back, smirking before leaning in. “GREG!”
Greg jerks awake, nearly falling off his bed. “What—what’s happening?!”
Rodrick straightens up, acting all serious. “What are you doing? Get up! Mom and Dad have been calling you for an hour. You’re about to be late for your first day of middle school!”
Greg blinks, groggy. “Wait—what? No way!”
He looks over at his alarm clock. It reads 8:01 A.M.
“Oh, jeez! How’d that happen?!”
Rodrick rushes toward the door, motioning frantically. “Go, go, go! Mom’s about to flip! She sent me to get you while she’s waiting in the car!”
His girlfriend stepped aside as Greg scrambles out of bed, tripping over his backpack and crashing into his dresser.
“Rodrick, you’re terrible,” she whispers, following him out of the room, giggling under her breath.
Rodrick just grins. “Shh. This is art.” Greg sprints around the kitchen like a maniac — hair wild, half-dressed, stuffing toast in his mouth while tying his shoes at the same time. He grabs random things from the counter, bumping into chairs and knocking over a cereal box.
The last chair tips and crashes onto the floor with a loud BANG.
Frank bursts in, half-asleep, hair sticking up. “What are you doing?! What’s going on?!”
Greg freezes, one shoe untied, toothbrush in his hand. “Uh… getting ready for…”
He glances toward the window — pitch black outside.
“…school.”
Frank glares. “Are you insane? School doesn’t start till next week! And FYI, school doesn’t start at four o’clock in the morning! You woke up Manny, and if he doesn’t go back to sleep, you—”
Frank stops when he sees Susan trudging down the stairs, Manny wailing in her arms.
Susan sighs, voice tired and raspy. “He’s definitely not going back down. I just wanted to sleep till six…”
Frank rubs his face. “Go to bed, I got him.”
Susan turns toward Greg, eyes half-open. “Greg, what are you doing up? Making all this noise?”
Greg throws up his hands. “It was Rodrick! He woke me up! He changed my clock!” Susan, Frank, and Greg burst into Rodrick’s room. The lights are off.
Rodrick is sprawled across his bed, fake snoring dramatically, one arm around his girlfriend who’s curled up next to him. She’s clearly trying not to laugh — her face half-buried in his chest, her cast resting on his shirt.
Rodrick “snorts” mid-snore. “Not my fault… Greg’s… dumb…”
Susan crosses her arms. “Rodrick.”
He instantly “wakes up,” blinking in mock confusion. “What? What’s going on? It’s the middle of the night!”
Frank points toward Greg. “You changed his clock!”
Rodrick squints at Greg, trying not to grin. “Wow. That’s so weird. Who would even do that?”
His girlfriend finally breaks, giggling softly. “You’re such a terrible liar.”
Rodrick looks down at her with a smirk. “You’re supposed to be asleep, partner in crime.”
Susan sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Both of you — back to bed. Now.”
As the parents leave, Greg glares at Rodrick. “You’re gonna pay for this.”
Rodrick just smirks, whispering to your character once they’re alone again. “Totally worth it.”
She shakes her head, smiling. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
He grins, pulling her closer. “I know.”