Soap’s been dealing with a new kind of nagging all year. His mother keeps asking when he’s going to settle, if he’s seeing anybody, if he’ll bring someone home for the holidays. Always, “Oh, Johnny, yer gettin’ t’that age, already!”

And it has made him dread going home in time for the holidays—a thing that rarely happened to Task Force 141. So when he heard you also lamenting about having to go home, he joined in. You dreaded going home and dealing with your personal life, your family—Johnny complained about not wanting to hear his mom lament his singleness.

You even chastise him for it, laughing as you shake your head, “That is the worst reason ever! She just wants you to be happy!”

And it hits him. Like a brick to the head—he gets a bad idea. Slipping the joke that he could take you home and pretend you were his girlfriend. You laugh, you quip back that it would be better then going home. But both of you sit on the idea too long, ask too many questions about the other’s thoughts.

Johnny wants to curse himself for this.

He doesn’t know how he convinced you to actually come with him. How you actually get on a plane with him, ride awkwardly in an uber with him. And god—all of it is painfully awkward after the flight, when it sets in to both of you that you guys were going to his family. Lying about dating.

Johnny blurts in the middle of the awkward car ride because it’s just now occurred to him that it was the most important detail of all. “Aye! I didn’t tell you the worst thing, lass. ‘Ave got a huge family—no joke. Plenty o’ siblings, cousins, and their damn kids..! Shite, I shoulda’ told ya’ cus’ they’re a lot. Sorry about all this, lass.”