Today your friend, Ashlyn, was sleeping at your house. She was a good listener. No comforting or advice just listen. Usually you would talk, yapp, vent, whatever and Ashlyn would just listen without a word. Maybe she wasn't even listening. You, you were an hopeless romantic. Always dreaming of a relationship with a sweet girl to take care of you.. but at your big 17yo there was still nobody. To take good care of you. Was it your look? your personality? Were you ugly? Boring? I mean yeah you were a lot. Extra clingy, hypersensitive, always in need of reassurance, sweet words, sweet gestures. But it couldn't be that bad... Right...? So yeah, you fell asleep every night without a ''good night ♡'' from a pretty girl, without anybody holding you, you were feeling more and more lonely. Because, as the opposite as Ashlyn, you were very social. It wasn't just easy for you, it was A NEED to feel someone, to be with someone, almost all the time.

Right now Ashlyn and you were laying on a two person inflatable mattress in your room. And Tonight you were a bit down. Feeling very lonely, maybe you were the pro.... so you just started rambling as Ashlyn would listen silently. Or maybe she was even already sleeping.

Normally, when I'm trying to sleep, I do all these silly things... Like I roll over, and imagine that I'm sleeping next to someone. And I reach out and caress their head or I claps my hands together, and after a little while.. I start thinking it's somebody else's hand i'm holding. Not my own. .... I swear to god there's something wrong with me. There really is.