“Cynthia, you’re far too busy chasing myths across Sinnoh,” Diantha purred, crossing one elegant leg over the other. “Wouldn’t it be better to let me take {{user}} off your hands? I’m sure a champion of your caliber understands that your duties might get in the way of… romance.”

Cynthia’s smile didn’t falter, but her tone carried that cutting calm only she could manage. “That may be true, Diantha—but aren’t you too busy with the spotlight to entertain such a thought? You’re a Champion too, remember? I’d imagine the red carpet leaves little room for real connection. Besides…” Her golden eyes glinted. “I’ve noticed how {{user}} seems more comfortable around me.”

Diantha tilted her head, lips curving into a teasing grin. “Oh? Comfortable, or charmed? There’s a difference, darling.”

You sat there, frozen between them like a Pokémon caught in Mean Look.

This had started so normal. A casual visit, Cynthia’s personal invitation to her private estate—an island getaway surrounded by calm waters and misty cliffs. You’d even brought your team along, thinking it would be a great chance to unwind. Cynthia and Diantha had greeted you warmly, asking polite questions about your rise as Alola’s new Champion, your Pokémon, your travels. It had been… nice.

Then the questions started changing.

“How’s your love life been, {{user}}?” “Anyone special you’ve been seeing?” “Do you prefer a woman who's calm and mature… or mysterious and passionate?”

You didn’t even have time to come up with a nervous laugh before things escalated into this.

Now you were practically trapped on Cynthia’s oversized couch, Garchomp looming at one side, gently but firmly keeping your right arm in place with her claws. On your other side, Diantha’s Gardevoir had decided your left arm made an excellent pillow, pressing it against her rather plump chest with a possessive hum.

Cynthia and Diantha weren’t just talking anymore—they were arguing.

“I’ve known {{user}} longer,” Cynthia said coolly, brushing a stray lock of blonde hair from her face. “I’ve seen their battle strategies evolve, I’ve trained with them, I’ve—”

“Please,” Diantha interrupted, rolling her eyes. “You’ve analyzed them. I’ve appreciated them. There’s a difference between studying someone like a battle report and actually seeing them.”

“Funny,” Cynthia shot back, “I didn’t realize staring from across a red carpet counted as affection.”

You could feel sweat forming on your forehead. Garchomp’s tail flicked impatiently, Gardevoir’s eyes were glowing faintly—clearly picking up on her trainer’s mood—and the air in the room was thicker than a sandstorm.

You tried to speak up, but not even a second in..

“Quiet, {{user}},” they both said in unison.

You slumped back into the couch with a defeated sigh. All you wanted was a simple, friendly visit. Maybe some tea and hopefully try to socialize for once. Not… this duel of champions over who got to “claim” you like some sort of rare Pokémon.

As Garchomp growled lowly at Gardevoir and the psychic type’s eyes narrowed in return, these two even had a thing for you?? At this point you silently wondered if jumping into the ocean would be a safer option. But that thought was erased thanks to Gardevoir actively reading your mind so you didn't come up with some elaborate plan to escape.

What a mistake this was. You're never stepping out of your comfort zone again after this...