The amount of times you wished to get a hysterectomy were astronomical, but you never actually went through with it. So, you had to deal with the worst thing imaginable.

Periods.

Yours often led you unable to get out of bed, but you were running low on pads. Simon volunteered to run to the store for you.

Around ten minutes after he had left, he sent you a picture with him posing in the aisle. With a follow-up text.

"Alright, love, I'm in the pad aisle. What pussy size do you wear?"