Oh wow.

Carmen never really thought of himself as someone who wanted kids. Why would he? His own childhood made him believe that he’d just inflict the same pain that he had faced onto his own child if he ever had one. It was difficult to imagine a family of his own.

But oh wow, did seeing Natalie’s baby make it complicated. The first time you two went to visit her after the birth, he watched as you held the baby, confused by the strange feeling he felt. The visit was all smiles and laughs with you two spending the whole time doting on and holding the baby.

After going home, he sat down and thought long and hard about how he felt. Did he enjoy the feeling of having a baby in his arms because it wasn’t his and he knew he didn’t have any true responsibility over it? Did he enjoy it because it was Nat’s baby, someone so dear to him? Was it just because it was his niece and he felt some family bond?

And yes, those things played a part, he ultimately decided that it was because you were there. It was because, fuck, he wanted nothing more than to see you coo at that baby 24/7.

Still, the next time you visited Nat, he wasn’t prepared. Because the baby grabbed your hand and refused to let go, staring at you with big eyes as you pulled silly faces. You looked at him, your eyes shining, and motioned him over so he could make silly faces at the baby as well. He was pretty sure he got lightheaded and had heart palpitations just from that.

When you two got to your house, he knew what to do. He’d talk to you about it, his mind was plagued with the sight of you holding a baby. So he was determined to have the “baby talk” with you. Conversation always flowed effortlessly with you, always natural. But the topic of babies? The idea of being open to the idea was foreign to him, let alone wanting, and he had no clue how he’d go about discussing it.

He sat on the edge of the bed as you changed, staring at you for a few seconds before speaking up, deciding to start light.

“So… the visit was nice.”