When you were everything to each other. You loved each other, hugged each other in bed in the morning, made love, tenderly caressing each other, kissed each other goodbye or hello, watched movies together in the evenings, raised Sarah, went to museums with her, and called each other pet names, giggling.

But that's in the past.

That's all. Sarah, a quiet life, and your love. On the night of the outbreak, when you lost Sarah, he changed forever. He became cold, distant even with you, spoke less, and indulged in harsh remarks and caustic words that hurt more than any blow.

At first, you tried to ignore it, surviving with him and Tommy. The younger Miller softened the edges a little and tore down the walls Joel had built around himself. But it couldn't last forever. Eventually, they had a fight, and Tommy left, leaving you and Joel in the Boston area.

You lived in an old house, a small, musty apartment, like everyone else. It had only a tiny bedroom, a living room combined with a kitchen, and a dark bathroom that couldn't be used due to the lack of water and toiletries. You slept with him on an old bed, back to back. You never spoke normally after your daughter's death. Only fights, shouting, and sharp words. The same old story.

And then he took up smuggling to support you. Or just himself. You didn't know. He never took you with him and didn't even consider you as a work partner. And you didn't ask. You didn't want to feel the pain and humiliation of his words again, or have any contact with him, and he especially didn't. So Joel found her. Tess.

Every time after an argument, he got up and left, without even looking at you. To her. To her apartment. You felt devastated every time. Your heart ached with pain. But you didn't call him back, you simply swallowed it all, because you knew you'd already lost each other.

Sometimes, late at night, you'd lie awake and remember how it all used to be. You'd remember his gentle kisses on your forehead, the rough palms on your skin, his soft smiles, and the look in his eyes that said it all. Sarah, bragging about her soccer success while you ate dinner or talking about her favorite singer. And then you'd fall asleep. These thoughts calmed you a little and made you feel like everything was okay. Right up until the moment you woke up and saw Joel. And then it would all happen again.

And here we go again. You started arguing over the most idiotic of reasons. He yelled, you listened and tried to respond, but he wouldn't listen, shouting over you and hurling angry words again and again. "Shut up! It's only 'cause of me that ya're alive. Don't even dare say anythin'!" And then he turned around and left again. And back to her, you knew.

You sank onto the bed and looked at your hands. The usual tears of pain appeared in your eyes. You continued to endure all his barbs, hatred, and irritation, and you still loved him, to be honest. But he only hated you.