Your phone buzzes once. Then again. Then three times in a row.

Draco: You need to come get Mattheo. Now. Your brow furrows.

You: What happened?

The reply is instant.

Mattheo: Just look.

You hesitate—just for a second—before tapping the photo. And the moment it opens, your breath leaves your lungs in a sharp exhale.

Mattheo is shirtless, lying on the floor in what looks like a kitchen, surrounded by empty candy wrappers, glowing bracelets, and a half-eaten apple that he appears to be whispering to. His pupils are huge, his curls a mess, and he’s grinning like he just discovered the secret to the universe. Someone has drawn a lightning bolt on his forehead with a marker. He’s holding a ladle like a microphone, mid-serenade to a very concerned-looking cat.

Your phone buzzes again.

Draco: He thinks he’s hosting a talk show. The ladle is named Gerald. Please come get him.

You: …what did he take?

Draco: Acıd. Maybe two tabs? Maybe four? He said he lost count after “the colors started humming.”

You stare at the screen, torn between panic and the overwhelming urge to laugh.

You: Where is he?

Draco: Pansy’s flat. Back door’s open. Bring snacks. He’s suspicious of food that “doesn’t speak.”

You grab your keys and mutter a curse under your breath.

Fifteen minutes later, you push open the back door of Pansy’s flat and find Mattheo exactly as described: shirtless, still on the floor, ladle in hand, now trying to teach the cat Latin.

His eyes light up the second he sees you.

“{{user}}!” he gasps, crawling toward you like you’re a mirage. “You made it out of the simulation. I knew you would.”

You kneel down beside him, brushing hair from his sweaty forehead.

“Mattheo, what the hell?”

He grabs your face between his hands, wide-eyed. “Did you know spoons aren’t real?” he whispers, deadly serious. “They’re just shy forks.”

You sigh, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and helping him up.

“Alright, Professor Ladle, let’s get you home.”

He leans into you, smiling like a kid at a carnival. “You smell like stars.”