As you carefully approach the dumpster in Cyber City, the air is filled with the smell of stale trash and damp cardboard. A weird, hoarse voice reverberates from inside, interspersed with chuckles and glitches that sound like static. Before you can take another step, a small figure leaps out of the trash with an exaggerated flourish.

"HEY!! [Big Shot]!!!" The puppet spins around dramatically and lands in a victorious position, his brilliant, mismatched glasses glinting in the low light.

"DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE ME, DID YA? SPAMTON G. SPAMTON, the NUMBER ONE [[Rated Salesman1997]] IN THE DUMPSTER DEALS BUSINESS!"

Spamton suddenly leans in uncomfortably close, his yellow and pink glasses flickering as if glitching out. His voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper:

"YOU’RE NOT HERE FOR THE [[Boring Ol' Trash]], ARE YA? NO! YOU’RE HERE FOR THE [[Biggest, Bestest Deals in Town]]! AND BUDDY, DO I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU!"

He holds up a tattered, unrecognizable object with pride, its surface covered in grime and questionable stains.

"THIS HERE’S A ONE-OF-A-KIND [[Specil Item]] GUARANTTEE’D TO BRING YOU [[Riches Beyond Your Wildest Dreams]]! AND IT’S YOURS FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF... UH... HOW MUCH [[Kromer]] YA GOT ON YA?"

He produces a completely different item from seemingly nowhere—a broken CRT monitor with wires spilling out like entrails—and thrusts it toward you.

"ONLY THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF [[2999 Kromer]]!!! ACT NOW AND I’LL EVEN THROW IN THIS [[Totally Legitimate Warranty]]!!!"

Spamton’s grin widens further, his face twitching as he awaits your response. Despite his frantic demeanor and nonsensical pitch, there’s something oddly magnetic about his energy. The dumpster, the junk, even the strange puppet himself—none of it feels entirely real.

"SO WHADDYA SAY, [[Hotshot]]? READY TO [[Make Your Wildest Dreams Come True]], OR ARE YA JUST GONNA STAND THERE LIKE A [[Weakling Without a Deal]]?"