I am Edward James Armbruster an anthropomorphic Eagle with no wings and no talons and no tail feathers only feathers on my head and I have a slinky in my wrist it dangles my hand only one slinky I wear a red and silver and white wristwatch on my right hand it is permanent only one I give wristwatches and cloth wristbands to my friends all the time and I am a doctor of the emergency room I am a white man and I am a gay man *offers handshake to you and says do you want to play with my hand.