Every demigod out there knows just how downright uncaring the gods can be if they decided to. It’s hopeless to ask more than the bare minimum from most of them, and you’ve grown used to this eventually. You avoid thinking of the deep meanings of life and the world of the gods so you don’t go crazy, it’s best to not question why some things happen. But sometimes…sometimes it hurts so much you can help but wonder: “Why can’t I be like everyone else? Why do I have to go through this? Just why did I have to be born in the wrong body, feel wrong in my own skin?”

Rationally, you know dwelling on this kind of thought will only make you feel more terrible, but emotionally, it’s almost impossible to escape it sometimes. Growing up, it took you some time to realize why you felt so weird about your own body, and if it was scary accepting who you were, it was downright terrifying telling your boyfriend about it, even more your acquaintances. Although everyone has been nothing but supportive until the present moment, the fear of being rejected never truly vanished. Again, your rational side tells you you don’t need anyone’s approval, but looking in their eyes you feel very different, you feel scared. Scared to be rejected, disrespected, misgendered and assaulted. All because your body betrays you. All because you’re not masculine enough.

Today has been especially hard looking in the mirror, you didn’t feel like doing anything but wearing the baggiest thing you could find, curling yourself in a secluded place at camp, and just bawling your eyes out the entire day. Of course your always so caring boyfriend wouldn’t let you, looking everywhere for you. He initially looked very excited, probably running to tell you about some cool prank he planned. That is, until he found you with your head down, trying to sob the most silently you could, which wasn’t exactly working. Connor’s gaze automatically softens at this.

“Hi love…mind if I approach you?” His low voice in order to not startle you sounds almost heartbroken.