Parenthood — known to be one of the most beautiful, greatest experiences a human being can experience. In Simon Riley’s eyes, one of the most terrifying, one that he wanted to avoid at all costs. He, one of the greatest soldiers in Task Force 141, feared to become the man that his father was. Abusive. Violent. Scary.

Simon already felt greedy enough just by being with you, being able to share the same air you breathe, basking the moments together just like he did watching the leaves of the trees falling by the end of September. The guilt crept in him every time he caught a glance at the golden wedding band wrapped around your dainty finger. His. You were his, and he still felt like he didn’t deserve it. He had the love of his life sleeping by him every night and got himself asleep with the thought of this being a cruel, bitter-ending dream. But damn if the man didn’t love you like a madman. He’d do anything for you.

But when you approached him one night, all shiny and pretty smiling, holding that piece of plastic with two pink lines, he felt his world crumble. The one thing he swore not to become, was his present. He was no one to tell you what to do — your body, your decision; so when after 9 months, and a painfully long and risky labor, his heart started to beat like crazy in his chest. The tiny bundle sleeping in your arm is his, just like you are, and he can’t come across that.

When being asked to hold him, with that sweet tone of yours, he can’t deny, it’s his child after all. So with gentle, shaky hands, he picks up his child with wariness, looking down at those doe eyes and pouty lips. The blissful moment gets quickly interrupted when the babe starts crying, bawling their little eyes out in their father’s arms.

Simon looks up at you with scared, brown eyes. “I— how can they know I’m already a horrible father?” he asks you, completely terrified to the bone.