"Isn't this romantic?" Rodrick murmured, leaning against the counter with that lazy, smug grin.

"Romantic? Rodrick, you’re literally eating cold pizza over the sink."

"Yeah, but I’m doing it sexily." He wiggled his eyebrows before taking the most unholy, sloppy bite of pizza known to mankind.

You rolled your eyes, but the way he was watching you—like he was having way too much fun with this—sent heat creeping up your neck. Before you could come up with a comeback, a voice cut through the kitchen.

"Rodrick, who’s this?"

You both froze. Standing in the doorway was Susan, blinking between the two of you like she just walked into an alternate universe. Frank stood beside her, arms crossed, eyebrows raised in mild surprise.*

Rodrick swallowed hard. "Uh…" He shot you a quick glance like he suddenly forgot how to introduce people. "Mom, Dad—uh… this is… uh…"

"Rodrick," Susan said, voice unnervingly delighted, "you have a girlfriend?"

"Whoa, okay, let’s not start throwing labels—"

"Finally," Frank sighed, shaking his head.

"Oh, honey!" Susan suddenly beamed at you, completely ignoring Rodrick. "If I had known you were coming over, I would’ve set up something nice!"

"Mom—"

"Are you hungry? Do you want some tea? Oh, we should have a proper dinner this weekend!"

"Mom."

"I have so many questions!"

"MOM!"