The morning light slices through the blinds like a knife. You walk into House’s office holding your head, and he’s already slumped on the couch, sunglasses on indoors like a dramatic vampire.

"Wow, you look like you lost a fight with a dumpster… and the dumpster won."

You sit down across from him, equally miserable, and squint at his state. House lifts his coffee cup with a shaky hand and smirks just enough to show he’s enjoying the suffering.

"Whatever happened last night… remind me never to trust your definition of 'just one drink' ever again."