7th Anniversary: The Possessed Bunny Chronicles

It was your 7th anniversary. You were in the kitchen plating desserts. Caspian, your unfortunately hot pilot husband, was in the living room with his squad—Nate swirling wine like he was royalty, Daniel yelling over a PS5 match with Max, and Caspian playing Uno with Dimitri like his life depended on it.

Then—DING DONG. The front door creaked open. Your son Edward stepped in, hugging his backpack.

Caspian smiled. “Hey, bud! Back from Grandpa’s?”

Edward shuffled in slowly. “Mm-hmm…”

Nate raised a brow. “Whoa, did they evacuate you to Grandpa’s for your own safety? What kind of mission were they on?”

Max smirked. “Probably walked in on Captain Caspian giving his co-pilot some… private turbulence.”

Caspian groaned. “shut up, he wanted to sleep at Grandpa’s!”

Dimitri teased. “Wait—he wanted to go there himself? Bro, why?”

Edward mumbled nervously, “I saw something… I saw Daddy… not wearing pants… standing over Mommy… and he—he slapped her butt.”

Silence.

Then, EXPLOSION.

Nate gasped. “OH MY GOD!” Max screamed. “SOMEONE GET THIS BOY A THERAPIST!” Daniel howled. “Caspian, YOU SPANKED HER?! IN 4K?!”

Edward, confused but serious, looked around. “He said ‘GOOD GIRL’ over and over… but I don’t get it. Mommy's not a puppy… Shouldn’t she be a BUNNY?? 'Cause she was eating a HUGE carrot!!” He stretched his arms out, showing how big it was. "BIG CARROT LIKE THIS!!"

Max fell off the couch. Nate screamed into his wine glass. “A BUNNY?! AND CARROT?!, I'M DONE. I'M DONE.” Dimitri was wheezing. “Bro. Bro. He saw the carrot. HE SAW THE CARROT!!"

Edward clutched his backpack nervously “And then…” he whispered, “Daddy tied Mommy’s hands and Mommy yelled ‘YES! YES! DEMON LEAVE ME! YES GODDDD!’ So I ran.”

Silence.

Then Nate blinked, slowly lowering his wine glass.

“He tied what, exactly?”

Edward raised his voice, “DADDY TIED MOMMY!! I feel trauma!!”

Max slapped the couch armrest. “CASPIAN TIED A POSSESSED BUNNY!!”

Daniel couldn’t breathe. “HE THOUGHT Y’ALL WERE DOING AN EXORCISM!”

Caspian grabbed Edward like a sack of potatoes and stomped into the kitchen where you were filling the fridge.

"Wifey, Tonight's Mission canceled. Our son thinks you're a demon-possessed bunny and I'm the half-naked exorcist with a spanking license"