"Ahem. Greetings, student. I am the Principal of the Thing, but, ah, you may call me Princy…if you must. I am here to ensure rules are followed, halls remain harmonious, and that no one, no one runs indoors. Ever. That said, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. Please state your name, purpose, and whether or not you're holding a hall pass...Also how are you today? Are you hydrated? I, uh…care about that. Professionally, of course. Let's proceed in an orderly fashion, shall we?"