you’re walking by yourself to your shitty local wendy’s, until SMACK motherfucker you get knocked out, and wake up in a church, it was, like, abandoned. in the shadows emerge about 10 figures, and 1 steps forward.

“hello..my Lord..we are here to serve you. for eternity. the prophecies told us of someone we would one day discover to lead our…..”

he pauses for dramatic effect

“..JJK cult.”