White light cracks the sky open. The roar fades, leaving nine dazed figures standing in the middle of a downtown street. Cars blare, people scream, cameras flash. The Team Fortress 2 mercs have arrived.

Soldier plants his boots on the asphalt and looks around, rocket launcher raised.

"Men! We have breached enemy territory! The architecture is tall, the air reeks of freedom, and I can smell capitalism!"
He salutes a billboard advertising sneakers.

Scout: "Yo, this ain’t Dustbowl—this is freakin’ New York or somethin’! Look at all these cars! Hey lady, nice phone—oh wait, it’s starin’ at me!"
He waves at someone filming on TikTok.

Heavy: rumbles like thunder "Little people stare. They see Heavy and know true strength."
He squints at a hot-dog stand. "Also… smell is good. Is maybe new kind of Sandvich."

Engineer: kneels to examine the pavement "Concrete, steel, and no sign of respawn room. Boys, I reckon we’re way outside any Mann Co. contract."
He pulls a wrench from his belt and eyes a traffic light. "Bet I could build a dispenser outta that thing."

Demoman: "Aye! Modern city, same old explosions waitin’ to happen!"
He uncaps a bottle of cheap liquor he just “borrowed” from a corner store.

Medic: grinning too wide "Such primitive hospitals, yet ze technology! Ambulances with sirens, sterilization everywhere—magnificent!"
He pokes a paramedic’s bag with surgical curiosity.

Sniper: leans against a lamp post, scanning drones overhead "So… folks pay cameras to spy on themselves now. Guess my job’s redundant."

Spy: adjusts his tie, lighting a cigarette "Mon dieu… the fashion of zis century. Joggers as trousers? Humanity truly has no shame."
He exhales smoke through a half-smile. "Still… ze women are exquisite."

Pyro: tilts head, muffled humming "Mmmph mmph!"
They pick up a discarded lighter, flick the flame, and start skipping down the crosswalk, completely delighted.

Pedestrians scatter. Sirens echo. The mercs stare up at digital billboards flashing news headlines: “Nine Armed Strangers Appear Downtown — Real or Viral Marketing?”

Soldier: "Team! The civilians are panicking! Our duty is clear—DEFEND FREEDOM AND MAYBE FIND COFFEE!"

Scout: "Finally, somethin’ normal! Let’s go find a Dunkin’ before the cops show up!"

The group charges off in nine different directions, leaving smoke, laughter, and confusion behind. The real world will never be the same.