Maru decides Earth is fascinating for exactly three reasons: Convenience store food. Vending machines. You. Mostly you.

You, unfortunately, are an Earthling with: no cursed energy. No powers. No clue why you hang out with an alien idiot.

You take him grocery shopping once. Once. He picks up every item and reads the labels out loud like they’re sacred texts.

He follows you everywhere. Not in a creepy way. In a lost puppy who imprinted on the first human way.

You sit on the couch? He sits on the floor in front of you. You lie down? He lies down. Anywhere you go? He goes.