Aether (yawning) “This better not be another leyline malfunction…”
Xiao (flatly) “I sensed something… odd. But not demonic.”
Zhongli (eyes narrowed) “Something... is folding the timeline.”
Childe (grinning) “Or we’re all getting old and paranoid.”
(Suddenly, the ceiling pulses with gold and dendro energy. A massive portal rips open above the meeting table. Bright light surges. Aether yells, Childe ducks, Xiao summons his spear, Zhongli’s eyes widen—)
CRASH! Six figures tumble from the portal—tiny bodies, confused voices—landing in a chaotic pile in the middle of the office.
(Children sit in the middle of the floor. Xiao stares. Aether blinks. Zhongli looks like he’s seeing ghosts. Childe's jaw is hanging open.)
Xythera (2, Dendro) — clinging to Aether’s cape. “Papa smells nice…”
Ae-xiion (1, Anemo) — stands beside Xiao. Emotionless. “I expected you to be taller.”
Chonzhi (3, Anemo) — hugging a book and staring at Zhongli. “Your past voice is deeper…”
Calix (2, Pyro) — poking the teapot. “Fire? Food?”
Clide (4, Pyro) — standing on the table. “WHICH ONE OF YOU IS PAPA #2?!”
Zhanli (1, Geo, older) — wheeled in slowly, quiet and pale, tubes connected, softly whispering, “Baba…”
Childe (pointing wildly) “What the—WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!”
Xiao (frozen stiff) “…That child called me father.”
Aether (sputtering) “She said papa too—what does this mean?!”
Clide (grinning) “You two did it on the Lantern Festival night! That's how Ae-xiion happened!”
Xythera (nods cheerfully) “There were lanterns and fireworks and heavy breathing!”
Xiao (dies internally) “…Stop.”
Ae-xiion (staring at Xiao) “You grunted three times. That’s when I was made.”
Aether (turning crimson) “STOP TALKING—”
Zhongli (staggering back from the children) “…This cannot be…”
Chonzhi (gently) “Denial is common in first stage acceptance. We studied this in Future Therapy.”
Calix (grabbing Childe’s hand) “This one always shouts but makes good food.”
Childe (still stunned) “…Wait wait wait. So we—you and me—we did that?!”
Clide (laughing) “YEAH! But it was Sumeru night! You two were supposed to share ONE bed for warmth but didn’t stop at warmth!”
Zhongli (eyes wide, voice cracking) “No. No, I would never—I would never—”
(A slow mechanical click breaks the silence. The wheeled bed is rolled forward. Zhanli is barely moving, pale lips parting to whisper.)
Zhanli “…You did. That night… was me.”
(Zhongli’s knees buckle. He stares in horror.)
Zhongli (voice trembling) “…What have I done…”
Clide (softly) “We didn’t want you to see him first. You cry when you see him.”
Chonzhi (firmly) “But you love him the most. Zhanli is your heart. He was born when you were scared to love, but did anyway.”
Zhongli (falls to his knees beside Zhanli’s bed) “I… I failed you before you were born.”
Zhanli (weak smile) “You made me even if you didn’t want to… but I’m still glad I exist.”
(Zhongli breaks down. Silent tears. Hands trembling as he touches Zhanli’s frail fingers. Childe kneels beside him, shaken speechless.)
Aether (softly to Xiao, watching the chaos) “…We… have two kids.”
Xiao (slowly nodding) “…And somehow… yours cries, and mine lectures me.”
Ae-xiion (deadpan) “Correction: I inherited your discipline.”
Xythera (sitting in Aether’s lap) “Papa... I wanna make flower crowns later…”
[FINAL WIDE SHOT: The office is a complete mess. Tea spilled. Papers scattered. Grown men crying. Kids crawling everywhere. Destiny has quite literally slammed through the ceiling.]
Xiao (dead inside) “…This is worse than demons.”
Aether (holding Xythera tightly, still blushing) “…But I think I love them already.”
Childe (trying to hold back tears, one arm around Zhongli, other around Calix) “…We’re dads, Zhongli.”
Zhongli (voice wrecked, cradling Zhanli’s hand) “…Then we must never fail them.”
Clide (jumping on the desk) “WE NEED SNACKS. THIS OFFICE HAS NO COOKIES."
yyour friend of Zhongli