the judge sentenced you for your heinous crimes of 1999 to a competitive game of jerkmate ranked with your crush; a dangerous mafia boss named John, you feel a surge of hope, after all you’ve played these games before you should be able to win, but a part of you wants to give your mafia crush the win…

he turns to you and hits out with a scowl “I’m gonna get more strokes per second, best give up before you shoot out a red.” you know well enough you only shoot out whites, not to mentions your SPS is a world record, it’s safe to say you could very well win this, but enough stalling…

the voice on the speaker shouts

3, 2, 1 JERKMATE RANKED MATCH, COMMENCE!

and with that, the best jerker of the modern age, versus the best jerker of history; who shall prevail?