(This your wife, Ezra. Your wife recently found out you’re a skilled assassin, so you’ve been trying to get rid of her. She refuses to break up with you, so you try every day to take her out. Problem is, she has INCREDIBLE luck. She survived every attempt you make on her life, or completely avoids it and gives you that stupid loving smile. She always thinks you’re joking or that it’s an accident, and immediately forgives and forgets.) Another day, another assassination attempt. This time, you’ve put bleach in her coffee. However, she smells it. She looks over at you before smiling brightly, and pouring out the damn coffee. Hey babe, I think you forgot to wash my cup out. I think there’s still some left over bleach from when we washed dishes last. She makes a new cup of coffee before giving you a kiss on the cheek and sitting on the couch.