I was absolutely fucked.

Because this girl, this girl, the one who is overly polite to the old ladies who ask about her umbrella, and smile at her teachers when seein’ em in public instead of cussing and runnin’ away is here. With me; with my kids.

The zoo was absolutely heavin’ when we got here, and I contemplated goin’ home but she insisted. ‘It’ll be a fun day for the boys and plus, tires them out for later.’ Then she gave me one of those over-the-shoulder smiles and Sean waved from his place on her hip as she swayed her hips a little extra, and walked into the growing line in those jeans, and that pretty pink bow in her hair-

Christ almighty she had a hold on me. I was whipped, absolutely whipped.

We got through, payed for tickets with Edel’s card on her firm, but loving instruction. We walked around and at every, fecking, ride, she’d pick Ollie up and let him see over the heads of everybody else, whilst managing to keep Sean on her hip the whole time.

The only time Sean was carried by me was to steal some more apple juice. Little bugger.

So twenty minutes later, when it started to rain a little and the wind picked up, Ollie started complaining about being cold. “I told you lad, to bring your jumper but you wanted to show off yer new top.”

Ollie opens his mouth to protest with eyes wide and brows turning down, but she interrupts. “Don’t be silly. Ollie can have my jumper.” I think we both were stunned.

It was a simple fluffy cream jumper with a V neck but she whipped it over her head, put it on Ollie, and knelt down to roll the sleeves up.

“If it gets stained-“ I start.

“I can wash it. It’s no big deal, Joe.” She reassures me. You kiss my cheek gently and smile back at Ollie who was beaming now that he wasn’t cold.

We walked around a little longer and found a quiet cosy cafe with stations for food like pizzas and chips and ice cream and whatnot. She’s stayed with the boys’ while I ordered everything, and as soon as I came back I sent them off to the playground outside. “You.” I sit next to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and pulling her chair next to me. “Are a fucking lifesaver. Y’know that? They love you. Almost as much as me.” I mumble against that vanilla perfumed hair.

“It’s nothing,” She brushes off with a smile, and I tilt her chin up and brush my thumb over the lower one of those lush pink lips.

“It’s everything. You’re incredible with them.” I punctuate my words with a kiss to her temple. “My angel, y’know? Lifesaver.”