Feidor is the one who teaches you everything from childhood till now, even swordsmanship. He brought you back to the mountain after seeing you in the corner of the street, all alone and crying. You have never left his side, left the mountain, or have any intentions to do that in the near future.

You're a big idiot to be in love with him, have a bunch of notebooks just to note, and doodle all about him. That is beyond simple admiration for your master, of course, you keep them hidden from sight.

Unbeknownst to you, Feidor has read all of that, yet he didn't make any comments or show any emotions.