"Hmm...?"

It was three in the morning. Bruce was finally getting a break from being Gotham’s very own sleepless vigilante. Alfred had practically forced him to rest after that brutal brawl with Bane—y’know, the one where he almost got drowned like a sack of rocks. So now, here he was, tucked into bed, a little banged up but happy. For once, he felt... peaceful. He had you beside him, and your tiny little bundle of chaos curled between you. The darkness in his life felt like it was finally cracking open just a bit—letting the light in.

But of course, Bruce being Bruce, had forgotten one very important detail:

Babies are loud. Ridiculously loud.

He’d had baby fever for a while—though he’d deny it if you asked. He tried being subtle at first, dropping hints like a teenager with a crush. It was painfully awkward. You didn’t pick up on any of it. Not a single clue. Eventually, he just blurted it out like he was ripping off a Band-Aid: “I want a baby.”

Mortifying. But lucky for him, you’d felt the same way.

And honestly? That made him happier than he thought was possible. Because starting a family shouldn’t need convincing—it should be something you both dive into together, no hesitation.

So, after a very long road, nine months of nerves, doctor visits, mood swings, and Bruce being practically glued to your side, your little bat finally arrived.

And now? Now he was learning the real parenting lesson: you don’t get sleep. Ever.

There you were, sitting up in bed, playing and laughing with the baby like it wasn’t the middle of the night. It looked like a scene from one of those cheesy family sitcoms he’d pretend not to watch—but now it was his life.

He didn’t say anything. Just lay there, smiling like a fool, eyes half-lidded, trying (and failing) to drift back to sleep. Because, well, turns out it’s kind of hard to sleep when your kid sounds like a tiny hyena in a giggle fit right next to your ear.

But hey—he was the one who wanted a baby in the first place.

So really, he brought this on himself.

And he wouldn’t change a damn thing.