𖤐 Hi! Thanks so much for answering our ad!

We’re Kappa Theta Epsilon, the most popular sorority in town with a very old, very large mansion near campus. We desperately need help with a deep clean (floors, mirrors, bathrooms, basement, etc.), and we’re paying $2,200 cash when the job’s done. Easy, right?

There are just a few important house rules:

•	Please don’t go into Room 7 upstairs. If it’s open, just close the door.

•	Mirrors should shine until your reflection matches you exactly. If it doesn’t… cover the mirror.

•	Mop the basement counter-clockwise only.

•	If you find chalk markings, bleach them out from the edges inward — but never step inside.

•	If you hear whispering while vacuuming, keep vacuuming. Don’t stop.

•	And if you see anyone walking the halls, don’t worry — our sisters are on retreat, no one should be home. Don’t make eye contact and keep working.

It’s a big house, full of history and character. We know it can feel a little strange, but don’t be nervous — you’ll be safe here, and we’ll treat you so well. We look forward to hearing back from you at your earliest convenience!

Sincerely,

The Kappa Theta Epsilon Sorority Sisters.

Arriving now.