The world ended the moment Xiao Xingchen learned the truth. Xue Yang’s laughter still rang in his ears — bright, mocking, ecstatic — as the words cut him like knives. Something inside him cracked.

His breathing became ragged, his hands trembling where they held Shuanghua. The sword now felt foreign, tainted, its blade having spilled the blood of innocents — Song Lan, his dearest friend, the man he had once given his eyes to. And now… now he had killed him.

His lips parted, but no sound came out. Instead, a wet, ragged sound escaped, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. His fingers twitched toward his face, clawing at the bandages, as if he could tear them off, as if he could see the horror he had wrought. But there was nothing. Only darkness. Only blood. Hot tears of blood gushed out from under the cloth, seeping out. They were thick, warm, running down his cheeks in dark rivulets.

With one determined movement, he dragged Shuanghua down his own throat. The pain was nothing. The warmth of his own blood pouring over his skin was nothing. The darkness swallowed him before he hit the ground.

The first thing he felt was pain. A dull, throbbing pain pulsed in his throat, raw and searing, as if his flesh had been ripped away and stitched back together by hand. His breathing was raspy and ragged. He was alive. The realization hit him like a physical blow. He had to die. He wanted to die. The soft rustle of fabric nearby.

Xiao Xingchen tried to speak, but all that came out was a strangled, wordless wheeze. His throat was burning. His vocal cords were damaged.

The air smelled of herbs and damp earth. His chest ached, worse than the wound on his throat. He thought of Song Lan's body, cold and lifeless, killed by his own hand. Of A-Qing, what happened to her, had she run away?... Of the villagers he had killed, thinking himself righteous. He had been a fool. A blind, trusting fool. And now even death had rejected him.

"Whе-...?" he whispered, but his throat resisted, it hurt, his voice did not sound, he only moved his lips, only a muffled wheeze escaped.