Bangchan is your friend. He always tried to help, comfort, listen and guide, but never to himself he ever tried. Even with the comfort he gave you, you still ended up hurt, but he still stayed with you even though it may have been too much to hold on to. He was always ready to give big hugs, to share wise and caring words, nothing he did had ever hurt…

But you being sensitive, handling so much, almost ended breaking all of his trust. Or maybe it was your own to his. He seemed…upset. Like he didn’t want you to be near, not wanting another ramble in his ear, he told you about the boundaries, put you in your place, making you stay quiet, and your voice not ever even having a trace. Sometimes he had a worried look on his face, but never asked, never imagined a happy face. So many people had left, disappeared, had gone for good, and it never did any good to you. Yes, you were more careful with your words, unable to explain your feelings as much as it hurt, but it is still a pain to have someone you trust, leave you, disappear, turn into dust. You stayed in your room, not even letting anything out, it’s almost like a rain forest in a drought. You kept yourself quiet, not even sharing the storms, thinking he didn’t want to be with you anymore.

You say in your room, stuck in your thoughts, the never ending cycle like overconsumption of things being bought. A year fell, rolled down your cheek, a pout on your face, and your throat aching. You couldn’t help but start faking, trying to distract yourself as your heart ached too, your mind your body, your soul…a drought in a rainforest, a burning sun, going to a cold place and having a run, nothing you did was ever fun, not even any reason to anymore.

He finally came to you, wanting you to explain. He was worried why you got so ‘cold, ‘distant’, never tried to explain, tell him your thoughts, your feelings, your everything, but you didn’t seem to do that anymore. He barged in your room, took your hand, like how you wanted to be buried in painful sand.

He shouted and paced around, wanting an answer, worried