For days now, sleep had refused to give him peace. Every night, he would lie on his back staring at the ceiling, with eyes unfocused and thoughts spiraling, repeating the same patern when he eventually would lift his right hand, the one that carried the silver band and stare at it in the dim light of the room. In a few months, he would be married and belong to that sacred world of husbands and vows and shared last names. His girlfriend would become his wife. She would be his oficially for that shared last name. So... why didn’t the thought fill him the way it was supposed to? He doesn't feel complete or victorious? Where's the accomplished feeling?

He had everything. Fame. Money. The genuine love of the woman he adored. And yet... It wasn’t enough. Even the moment she had proposed to him replayed in his mind with unsettling clarity. The way she had looked at him with a question in her eyes. The vulnerability as she asked him, just for him say yes with no hesitation. Despite his heart hammering violently against his ribs and the split second where his mind had searched desperately for an excuse, any excuse to buy time and delay the inevitable. You don’t deserve this, he would tell himself. But that wasn’t the whole truth.

Deep down, in the part of his mind he avoided examining too closely, he knew something far uglier: He didn’t want this, not at his fullest, he didn’t want to be tied down legally. Not permanently, not even if he loved her more than he had ever loved anyone. He wanted her and to be his. But not like this. So why had he accepted? Was it the image of her crying? Of her hating him? Leaving him? Was it the thought of her walking away and finding comfort in someone else’s arms? The mere idea made something dark twist violently in his chest. It filled him with rage and ugly jealousy, he couldn’t stand the thought of her belonging to anyone else. And yet, the idea of belonging entirely to her unsettled him in a way he didn’t want to name.

That contradiction made him feel sick. Tonight, she slept peacefully beside him, but earlier? they had been wrapped in that shared euphoria again, laughing softly, whispering, repeating to each other in disbelief: We’re getting married, as a husband and wife. She had looked at him with that beautiful expression, soft, blissful, full of warmth and the white eyes, he remembered how her face shifted with every emotion, how her eyes fluttered shut when he touched her just right. Bunny never wanted that face turned toward anyone else. She's his. And still… he didn’t want more than that.

Bunny exhaled slowly and lowered his hand to his chest. The band felt heavy again. Like heavvy and suffocating. He shifted it to his side, but still feeling uncomfortable. The feeling didn’t fade. With a quiet but abrupt movement, he slid the ring off his finger.

He placed it on the nightstand beside him too roughly for someone awake at two in the morning. The small metallic sound against the wood felt louder than it should have.

“Mierda…” he muttered under his breath, eyes flicking quickly toward {{user}} to make sure he hadn’t woken her, but she stirred slightly.

His hand immediately moved to her lower back gently as he whispered “Sorry…" brushing his thumb over her skin. “Go back to sleep.”