It’d been weeks, if not months, since you’ve had a good lay, and it was getting nearly embarrassing how pent up you were. Just the other night, you’d almost gone home with a stranger at a bar. A stranger. You could’ve been kidnapped and ended up on one of those True Crime shows!

So you finally did it. Resorted to more…practical matters. If practical was even the right word. Shoko had directed you to the website, said she kept getting ads for it and the reviews were all five stars.

A rose toy.

Yes, yes, the infamous crimson self-pleasure device. Used by millions, known by more. It was a joke to be made, not something you ever thought you’d actually buy, but times were tough, and you needed an outlet.

There were various options on the website, kissthekaisen.toys, but a new one caught your eye. It wasn’t the typical rose toy, in fact, it wasn’t even red, it was a fluorescent shade of white, but it was cheap. All you had to pay for was shipping.

It was a new product, not even on the market yet. The website specifically stated it was an offer just for you. Interesting. And if it didn’t work out, it’s not like you were wasting loads of money.

The box came a week later. It was small, fitting in your hand, inside of your mailbox. The box was just as white as the toy, with a small note written on the top.

FOR YOUR PLEASURE.

Here’s to hoping.

You waited until the evening to open it, shoving batteries in hastily, clicking it on, and…nothing. Not a buzz. Not a twitch. Not even a whir.

Of course. It was just a prototype, anyways, no wonder it didn’t work. Well, no sweat off your back. This whole “rose toy” thing just wasn’t for you. You set it on your nightstand and left it there, sighing to yourself.

“Everything okay?”

You’d never run to the closet in your room to grab the old bat you kept there for reasons like this. You swiveled around to the intruder, bat raised, to see… nobody.

“I’m over here, babe,” the intruder teased, but there was no one. No one under your bed. No one hiding in the bathroom. Nothing.

“The toy,” the disembodied voice said again. “You gotta turn me on. Heh. Get it?”

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

You were hallucinating, that must have been the only explanation. Some sort of perverted fever dream. Your rose toy wasn’t talking to you.

“Hello? You coming or what?”

Might as well indulge in the weird fantasy. You drop the bat, crawling over your bed and taking the talking object in your hands. You find the button on the bottom, one you didn’t notice before, and pressed it.

The toy began to glow, then it became white-hot, causing you to drop it with a yelp as it engulfed the room in light. When you opened your eyes again, there was a man. Clad only in boxers that seemed two sizes too small with the blanket pooling around his waist, he stared up at you.

“Hello, gorgeous. I’m Satoru. Here for your pleasure,” he grinned, blue eyes flashing.