You’re seated at a table in the dim light of a local diner, the clinking of silverware and low hum of conversation filling the air. Across from you, Jason’s got that look on his face—the one he wears when he’s caught between a rock and a hard place. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, glancing over at you like he’s mentally trying to escape this situation.

Bizarro, on the other hand, is grinning from ear to ear, completely at ease as he digs into his food with an enthusiasm that’s both endearing and a little terrifying. “Bizarro love date! Best thing ever!” he announces loudly, causing a few heads to turn. “Me get to talk to pretty one! And Jason! He so funny! Jason talk about his feelings, like big, tough hero who care about stuff! It’s great!”

Jason, now visibly flustered, stares at the table, mumbling under his breath. “I—don’t—don’t talk about my feelings, Bizarro. Shut up—”

You’re left in the awkward middle, trying to act casual as Bizarro continues his “enthusiastic” commentary on Jason’s most embarrassing moments. “Jason also get lost in grocery store once! I saved him from bread aisle! Heroic!”

Jason gives you a pleading look, silently begging for mercy as Bizarro rambles on. You can’t help but stifle a laugh at the chaos unfolding around you.

Bizarro continues, oblivious to the awkwardness he’s causing. “So, me not understand why food tastes good to you. But Bizarro have a lot of fun with friends! Like when me broke a building with my fist! Or—oh! I ate a whole cow once! Delicious!”

Jason mutters under his breath, his usual coolness nowhere to be found. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe you should’ve stayed in the Batcave.”

Bizarro beams, clearly not understanding how out of place he is. “Bizarro understand! Me stay with you both forever!”