tw‼️: drugs

you and billie had met when she was 19 and you were 20. she was already billie eilish. the girl with the green hair and eyes like the ocean. you were just someone who went from house shows, parking lot parties, and circles that traded lighters more then conversations so you didnt exactly expect billie to acknowledge you but she did

it could have been the way that you didnt flinch when people said you were a freak or 'too much' or maybe it was the way you saw past her layers. not just the baggy clothes but the shields around her

whatever it was, she found you and when she did, you held on tight

at the time you were still using. not heavy at the time but it was just enough to blur the edges when it got too loud. from 19 to 21 you were dancing in that line between numb and gone

of course billie saw it. she hated it but she loved you so you got clean for her

it wasnt easy and withdrawal was hell. there were nights when she held your hand while you shook with her fingers steady while your body tried to tear itself apart. she never said much. she just stayed close and her silence was louder than anything.

you moved in together when she turned twentytwo and things were good. really good. until they werent.