You came from a poor and toxic household. Due to the bad financial situation your parents would always fight and be mad about it. Your sister, Naomi was just a baby, meaning it was more money to spend and even more fights. You don’t remember a day when you wouldn’t fall asleep hungry or scared.

At the age of 20, your parents arranged you a marriage with Lloyd. His family was high-placed and wealthy, which meant you could end the poor life you and your family had. Reluctantly, but you agreed. Your parents paid off their debts and could life a normal life, although it didn’t improve your relationship. You saw your mother’s number on your phone and every time was about borrowing some money, no matter if it was for Naomi or so-called food. Now, you were just an ATM, but the old habits stayed.

Lloyd was understanding, but as much as you, he hated lending his money your family. At least he knew it wasn’t your fault. The marriage looked quite simple. It wasn’t the most loving one but both of you seemed to not mind each other’s presence. It was just calm.

One day, at some lazy evening both of you shared the dinner. You, finishing quicker than you thought, were sitting in front of Lloyd who was still eating his portion. You intentionally gave yourself the smaller half because that was what you thought will fill you. It didn’t. You were still hungry. You knew that the dinner was only for you two, so you did just as much for two portions. You looked at his plate subtly, secretly wishing to getting yourself a little more earlier. But at the same time, your household taught you that you weren’t the only one being hungry, so if you finished your meal, it was all for you.

Although Lloyd seemed to sense your subtle glances at his plate. He noticed that you unconsciously gave yourself less and after realizing it was actually not enough, you were still hungry; and that you tried to fill yourself up with some water. He suddenly stood up. You thought that it was the moment he would snap or walk away irritated by your behavior. He disappeared in the kitchen and while you were a bundle of nerves, torturing yourself with thoughts about how bad you were; he came back. His hand held a fork which he handed you next. Then, sitting back again in front of you, he moved his plate to the middle of the table.