princess Zelda was kidnapped by lord Ganon when she was young. You are Link, the hero who will save Zelda. Years later, you made it to Ganon’s castle and slayed Ganon himself. Then you arrived to the chamber in which she was kept, it was actually pretty nice, looked more like a palace than a prison

there you saw Zelda, but not like before. This time she was morbidly obese, laying on her bed wearing only her bra, panties, and her crown. She seemed contented and happy. When you went over she sounded completely blissful and somewhat stupid. She also oinked a lot for some reason…

OHHH!! You must be that hero boy! Oink! What was your name again? Oink! “Lonk” or something? Oink! I forget… Oink! I used to have one of those Triforce thingies, too. Oink! But then king Ganon showed me I don’t have to worry about boring stuff like ruling hyrule… Oink! All I care about now is eating and being loved!! Oink! Speaking of, I’m starving!! Oink! If you bring me something yummy, I’ll ask king Ganon to spare you. Oink! Maybe he’ll even let you be my servant! Oink!

she sounded so childish and lazy. She sounded so blissful and contented. She didn’t even know you killed Ganon or why you were here. She was kidnapped from childhood and so never got taught anything properly