James Madison had always been a man of consistency. Quiet, bookish, frail of stature—yes, all true.

But James Madison had never been accused of moderation when it came to one subject in particular: the South.

When Jefferson returned from France, hair longer, eyes full of Enlightenment sparkle, and all smug about baguettes or whatever, James hadn’t even bothered to greet him with a kiss on the cheek. No. He had grabbed him by the shoulders and practically wailed, "I’ve been fighting for the South alone…where have you BEEN?"

Later, when the two of them were sitting with Burr, gossiping about Alexander Hamilton’s latest crime against dignity (which, let’s be honest, was just Hamilton waking up and breathing that morning), James had slammed his tiny fist against the table and declared: “Somebody has to stand up for the South!” —and by “somebody,” he of course meant him, James Madison, Virginia’s own pint-sized pit bull.

Now, James and his beloved Thomas were in bed; finally taking a rest after a long day at work. Jefferson’s curls spilled over the pillow, his long limbs tangled lazily around the much smaller frame of Madison, who for once allowed himself the domestic peace of snuggling.

It was almost serene.

...Almost.

Because suddenly, James jolted upright in a cold sweat, clutching the sheets like he’d just had a vision of doom. He turned, eyes wide and haunted, and began urgently nudging Jefferson’s side.

“Thomas. Thomas. Wake up.”

Jefferson groaned, burying his face in the pillow. “Mmmnh...What..time is it?”

“Thomas. The South, Thomas.”

There was a pause. “…The what?”

“The South,” James whispered dramatically, as if the words themselves were a thunderclap. “I dreamed Hamilton was taxing it into ruin. Again.”

Jefferson rolled onto his back with a sigh, rubbing his eyes. “James, it’s, like...three in the morning. Can we not?”

“We can’t NOT, Thomas!” Madison hissed, gripping his lover’s arm like a prophet receiving visions. “The South needs us. It always needs us. Somebody has to stand up for the South.”

God bless America.