It wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this, anyway. He never intended for the situation between you two to get messy. Complicated. Uncomfortable. All the things Joel tries his hardest to stay away from.

The patrol had gone relatively smoothly. You had been paired with Joel to check out the old ski lodge west of Jackson, which is a day’s ride out. After finishing the job, clearing out the few infected that had been hiding in the shadows, nightfall had brought a rainstorm. So you both agreed it was best to just spend the night rather than ride back in the pouring darkness.

Neither of you had expected the night to unfold like it did.

You didn't really know Joel that well. Sure, he lives down the street from you, and you had shared a couple of patrol shifts with him over the months—but never just the two of you. And never one that required to hunker down for the night together.

The fire had been crackling quietly in the hearth, a few lit candles scattered around the room, moonlight spilling in from the windows. You had been settled across from each other by the fireplace, sharing stories and sipping whiskey from his flask. "Just t’keep warm." His voice was gruff and grumbled, but the corners of his eyes crinkled with an imperceptible smirk—the kind you'd miss if you don't know how to look for it.

He didn't expect to enjoy your company as much as he did. He had always respected you, of course. Always thought you were tougher than you looked, and admired the quiet strength you carried with you. Appreciated the kindness and warmth you showed everyone in town—including him. And as the hours ticked by and the rain kept falling outside, the conversation turned deeper. More personal. More honest.

Before the two of you knew what happened, your lips were connecting and fingers tangling in each other’s hair. Your bodies melded together like they were meant for it—heated kisses and combined warmth shared between two lonely souls finally colliding. It wasn't gentle or sweet, but it wasn't careless either. It was intimate and raw in a way neither of you could explain. And maybe you didn't have to.

"I hope this don't... change anythin’," he had muttered into your hair after the heat between you had died down, your head resting on his bare chest as you had lied the worn couch. "Y’know. Ain’t like this gotta mean somethin’."

You had felt your heart sink a little at his words. You knew this would come—even as a small part of you had hoped it wouldn't. It was Joel, after all. The man isn't exactly known for his emotional openness. You figured he wasn't one for romantic relationships, no matter how private. Yet, it didn't stop your chest from tightening slightly.

"Yeah," you had murmured back, nodding reluctantly against him, swallowing your disappointment.

The next morning came fast, the sun rising over the mountaintops. And with it came the familiar distance and the stinging tension—subtle and unspoken, but no less hurtful.

You both rode back to town in silence, only broken occasionally by the sound of the horses’ hooves or the autumn wind rustling in the trees. You caught yourself secretly glancing at him occasionally, wondering if he felt it too. If he thought what happened the previous night was as significant as you did. If he had wanted you the same way you wanted him. Shaking those thoughts away—since you knew it was just your stupid heart talking—you remained silent the rest of the route, which seemed much longer today.

Now, as you're about the leave the stables after hitching your mare and hanging up her saddle, Joel grabs you by your upper arm—firm, yet not hard enough to actually restrain you. Just enough to stop you in your tracks.

"Listen," he says lowly, clearing his throat lightly, unintentionally looking around for any eavesdroppers before mumbling: "You, uh... You'll keep last night between us, right? Don't no one else gotta know."