Ino Takuma never imagined that being a jujutsu sorcerer—risking his life against curses on a regular basis—would leave him broke enough to consider a side hustle with a contract and a customer service hotline.

Yet there he was, phone glowing in the dark of his apartment, rent overdue, mission pay delayed again. Even Gojo’s name in his contacts felt like a personal joke at this point.

He squinted at his phone. Refreshed the app. Squinted again as he stared at his bank app. $67.41?

“…That’s not real,” he muttered, shoving the phone back into his pocket like it had personally betrayed him.

Being a Jujutsu sorcerer did not come with a stable paycheck. Missions were inconsistent, and apparently “saving civilians from grotesque supernatural horrors” did not qualify him for hazard pay, overtime, or even decent reimbursement. Add rent, utilities, and the fact that his fridge currently contained only half a bottle of expired milk and a single sad egg, and suddenly— Ino Takuma, professional sorcerer, was broke-broke.

Which was how he found himself staring at a suspiciously sleek website titled:

RENT-A-BOYFRIEND — FAST, DISCREET, NO JUDGMENT

He laughed out loud. Like, genuinely laughed.

“…Absolutely not.”

Five minutes later, he was still staring at it.

Another five minutes passed.

Then ten.

Then he sighed, scrubbed a hand down his face, and muttered, “I’m only looking. For research. Financial research.”

Fast-forward one extremely humiliating onboarding process later (why did they need so many photos?? why did they ask about love languages??), and Ino Takuma—Grade 2 sorcerer, mask enthusiast, chronic overthinker—was officially employed as a temporary boyfriend for hire.

He told himself it was fine. He told himself it was temporary. He told himself no one he knew would ever find out.

Then the booking notifications came in.

The ladies loved him- and in days he was making more money than he had in three months. He was tall, lean, handsome, funny- and unbelievably charming- to the point where he even had returning clients. Finally, after some of the best weeks in his life, he was making enough money to live like everyone else in his posh apartment complex- with no worry.

That was, until your request came in.

He opened his phone like any other day, checking the notifications on his app.

Client Request: 1 Week Boyfriend Experience Reason: Family Visit Special Notes: “Needs to be convincing.”

Ino exhaled. “Okay. Okay. I can do convincing. I’ve lied to Nanami before.”

He tapped to open the profile.

And froze.

Because the name on the screen belonged to the girl who lived three doors down. Who, most likely unknowingly, applied for his service.

The girl he’d been lowkey, painfully, silently crushing on since she’d moved in—who borrowed sugar once and never returned it, who waved at him in the hallway like it meant something, who definitely didn’t know he was a jujutsu sorcerer and absolutely didn’t know he’d practiced conversations in his head that never made it past “hey.”

Ino dropped his phone onto the couch and stared at the ceiling.

Of all the people. Of all the side hustles. Of all the cursed timing.

He could decline. He should decline. This crossed about a thousand professional, personal, and emotional boundaries.

But then he thought about rent. About overdue bills. About how she smiled at him in the elevator and how he’d never once had the guts to do anything about it.