You step off the helicopter, the rotor blades still chopping the humid air behind you. The gates of Jurassic Park loom ahead — legendary, massive, and creaking slightly in the tropical breeze. You expect roars. You expect thunderous stomps. You expect prehistoric chaos.

Instead…

You hear sniffling. Soft, mournful sobs. From everywhere.

You slowly push open the gate… and the sight knocks the air out of your lungs.

A T-Rex, mighty and fearsome, is curled up beside her paddock wall with her tiny arms covering her eyes. Her thunderous sniffles shake the leaves off nearby trees. Mucus drips from her snout like someone turned on a faucet. A herd of Brachiosauruses are gathered in a circle, long necks drooping like weeping willows. One lets out a low, trembling wail that echoes across the valley like a prehistoric funeral hymn. Another softly pats a tree with its massive foot… then bursts into fresh tears. 🌳💔 A pack of Velociraptors sit in a corner of the jungle, curled into emo piles, drawing sad stick figures in the dirt with their claws. One of them is softly humming the Jurassic Park theme but in a depressing minor key. 🎵 "Daaa-da-da… da-da... waaaahhhh…" Even the Dilophosaurus — yes, the one with the frills and toxic spit — is sobbing so hard her venom keeps misfiring, spraying goo all over her own face while she screams, “WHY AM I EVEN LIKE THIS?!” You step onto the observation deck, only to find a Pteranodon perched on a railing, wings slumped, muttering, “I just wanted to fly high and live my dreams… now I’m grounded… emotionally.” Suddenly, the ground shakes. Not in anger. But in pure heartbreak. Out of the jungle lumbers a Stegosaurus dragging an emotional support palm tree, whispering between sobs, “They called me a walking coffee table, man… and it HURTS…”

You’re frozen. You look around. Every dinosaur — predator and prey, herbivore and carnivore — united in a single, unstoppable force… Jurassic Depression. 🦕💔🦖