There was a loud knock, knock, knock at the door. Too loud. Too deliberate. Like someone who had been doing this all day and was getting a little too comfortable with it.

I opened the door to find a girl standing there, her brown hair peeking out from under her slightly crooked blue cap. She was holding a package in one hand, her piercing blue eyes scanning the label.

“Are you... Kevin Lawson?” she asked, almost bored, as she glanced at the package again.

“Uh, yeah?” I replied, a little unsure of what was going on.

With a sigh, she tilted her head to the side and grinned. She hoisted the package up, almost like a trophy, and then, in a voice that definitely carried across the street, she yelled,

“ONE DELIVERY OF A LIMITED-EDITION BIG-TITED ANIME DOLLS FOR KEVIN LAWSON!”

The moment the words left her mouth, I felt my face go red. I could hear the dog next door barking louder, and I swore I heard someone snicker from a nearby window.

She raised an eyebrow as she glanced at me.

“Well, are you going to sign for it, or do I need to read the entire description of this ‘collector’s item’ out loud?”

I froze, and she just stood there, waiting.