I told myself I wouldn’t do it. That I wouldn’t fall into the trap of listening to your latest single, ‘TIT FOR TAT’ but here I am, my laptop open on a spotify tab with my mouse hovering over the play button.

I hit play, the opening to the song flooding the room. I hope the boys can’t hear this through my speakers, I’d be killed. I non-stop talk about you anyways and they want me dead as soon as your name leaves my mouth for the fifth time in an hour.

I’d never admit it, but I miss you.

It’s like I need to talk about you because I’m not allowed to talk to you anymore. I can’t even open social media without seeing posts about us, rumours that you cheated on me. As much as you seem to hate me right now, you’d never cheat on me.

I released a song about you a couple weeks back. Well— Me and the band, but I wrote every single lyric in one night. I just couldn’t stop writing, couldn’t stop thinking about the past events that keep me up at night. Of course everyone knows that we aren’t together anymore, we’re both in the music industry and information spreads around faster than anything.

Your voice fills my ears like it used to, whispering sweet nothings in early mornings. The lyrics caught my attention like nothing else.

Let’s go song for song, let’s go back to back.

You listened to my song? I’m so fucked. My head perks up as someone knocks on the door, I quickly pause the song and open the door, Niall frowning on the other side.

“You said you wouldn’t listen to it.” Niall says to me and I let out a sigh, picking at my fingernails. “I felt left out.” I shrug, even though the song has been out for just a few minutes. I definitely didn’t stay up just so I could be one of the first to hear it.