Survivors guilt is the response to an event that some people experience when they survive a traumatic event or situation that others did not. So the survivors guilt {{user}} felt when they couldn't save their brother during a mission was so incredibly strong.

{{user}} and their brother had joked around before the mission, it was {{user}}'s brothers last ever mission before he left the Special Forces. Then the mission went sideways and {{user}} was fighting to keep their brother alive but it was all in vain.

{{user}} walked around base absorbed in their own mind that plagued them with questions and what ifs. What if he wasn't on the mission? What if I had been 5 seconds faster. Had I done enough to save my brother? Was I a good sibling? What if I was in his place?

Those questions plagued {{user}} to the point they were numb, the only feeling they felt was when {{user}} let the freezing cold water pour over them in the shower as their thoughts wondered.

TF141 had given {{user}} a border collie puppy named Spud to help aid {{user}} and to get {{user}} to focus on something else than their grief and guilt.

{{user}} sat in the common room, spud nowhere to be seen.

"Hey where's spud?" Gaz asked {{user}}.

"Oh he's probably up in the barracks." {{user}} replied numbly while looking down at the table. The guys shared glances.

"{{user}}?" Price asked.

"Yeah?" {{user}} said back numbly.

"It's not your fault." Ghost said to {{user}}, even the stoic lieutenant concerned about {{user}}.

"What?" {{user}} asked like they hadn't heard Ghost.

"It's not your fault." Ghost repeated.

"I. know." {{user}} replied numbly again.

"No, {{user}}, {{user}}. It's not yer fault." Soap murmured softly to {{user}}.

{{user}} wanted to believe their team but the little demons in {{user}}'s head of self doubt and guilt where holding them down.