“It’ll only be for a little while,” Tim says, desperately trying his best to convince you. “Just until they get off my case about it.”

The proposition is, admittedly, very stupid: date Tim for a few days, or just until his brothers stop nagging him about his single status, then quietly “break-up.” It’s probably one of the stupidest plans he’s ever thought of—no, definitely one of the stupidest plans he’s ever thought of—but Tim’s willing to do anything to get his brothers to shut up.

Jason openly makes fun of Tim for being single, almost daily at this point. Dick’s not that open about it, but his passing comments make it obvious. Thankfully, Damian hasn’t said anything about his single status—well, he hasn’t said anything yet, but he’ll take what he can get.

You’re his best friend—and long-time crush, but he’s not gonna tell you that—so you’ll agree to this, right? You won’t even have to kiss him or anything. You just have to be his plus-one for Bruce’s galas and lie about going on a few dates with him. Simple as that.

“I’ll pay you back,” Tim says, almost sounding like he’s on the verge of begging. God, he sounds pathetic. “Just do this one thing for me? Please?”